Hugs are few and far between at the moment.
Life, at the moment, is still really 'up in the air' for many of us. Although we did have a number of sessions to postpone and, sadly, a couple who have had to cancel their wedding, our work life and income is still relatively stable. Where we're struggling to find 'normal' is in our family life, with our kids. Recently, our daughter visited my dad and asked him when this virus would end. She explained that she just wants to hug her friends again and was having a hard time not doing that. When dad told me how sad she was, it broke my heart. We're social people. John and I chat with the kids' teachers every morning, we chat to the parents while we're waiting for the kids to finish school, we chat with ladies in the office, and we know everyone's names, their kids, their partners.. it's who we are. We make it our goal to really get to know the people in our lives because they're genuinely important to us. I like to say to people, "John's never met a stranger". My dad will attest to that; he often laughs about how John can make friends with absolutely anyone, "Give him a minute and he'll know their life story". Our kids are the same. For us all to be practicing social distancing like this, it's taken a lot from us, emotionally. With the kids returning to school this Monday, we've realised how much the world has changed. On Monday morning, I squeezed them both like it was their first day of school before watching them walk in without us. Not being allowed to walk them to class was harder than I expected it to be. "Remember, we can't meet you at your class after school! We'll be right here waiting for you!" I yell across the field, hoping they remember not to meet us in our usual spot. We waited until they were both out of view before we got in the car. Looking over at Havanah's classroom, I sent her teacher a text, "Have a great day!" -- I miss her more than a parent should miss their child's teacher. But our kids have extraordinary teachers!!
Of course, we used our 6 hours wisely and went straight to Bunnings for our home improvement fix, but when we returned to the school at 2:45 to stand 2 metres away from all the other parents lined along the gate, we watched teachers walk the little kids out to meet their parents early, before the bell went for the bigger kids. It was such a strange feeling; I can't figure out if it was sadness or complete disbelief that this is what we have to do now. When the kids came running out of the school, without playing on the playground, without hugging their friends goodbye, it made me want to take them home and keep them there until all this blew over. But they came out with smiles; HUGE smiles. They were running and laughing and yelling across to their friends in a playful tone I hadn't heard in them in so many weeks. They had fun. I wrapped them both up in my arms and asked them a million questions about their day. I'd become so accustomed to knowing exactly what they were learning and which chapter of their class book they were up to, that not having a clue how they spent their day was surprisingly unsettling.
I don't know what the next couple of weeks is going to bring any of us.
I don't know the emotional toll this is going to take on us, or the kids.
I don't know that I'm going to have the capacity to immediately throw myself into work, as much as I may want to! So, for now, we're just cruising through life, with a little extra hand sanitiser and a lot of extra distance, hoping that hugs will be back sooner, rather than later. In the next fortnight, I'll be able to reassess the situation and look at some dates for rescheduling sessions. My love goes out to those of you who are really struggling during this time. x
Erin Michele Thomson ∙ Tauranga Photographer ∙ info@erinmichele.co.nz
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