Laying on the bed with gel all over my 19-week-pregnant belly, John and the kids sitting next to me staring at the monitor. "Do you want to know the sex?" the sonographer asks us. "Yes please! We're all pretty certain we have a girl.." I say, giving Havanah a bit of a thumbs up. "Well.. you see that there?.. That is quite clearly the sign of a boy" I look over at Havanah, "we're having a boy! You're going to have another baby brother!" "NO!!!" she cries, "It's supposed to be my baby sister, Bella, not another baby brother!" As Havanah sat in John's lap with tears rolling down her face, the sonographer informs me she's almost done, "I just want to have another little look at a few things and then we're all done". Handing me tissues to wipe the gel from my belly, the sonographer reaches for the light-switch, "Bub looks good, everything is developing how it should. Your placenta is actually completely over your cervix though, but don't worry, they usually migrate up and you should have no issues.. but that would have been the cause of the bleeding you've had in the past few weeks. If you have any big gushes though, come straight back to the hospital". When we got home, I sat down at the kitchen table and began crying. John was in a bit of a rush to get his things together so he could get back to work, "What's wrong?". "What isn't wrong?! Placenta Previa is bad!.. We could lose the baby.. I could die.." "Yeah, but she said it could move.." "WHEN DOES SHIT EVER GO SMOOTHLY FOR US WHEN IM PREGNANT?!" I was hysterical. I sat in that chair for about an hour after John left, just.. crying.
Two weeks later and we were back in the hospital after I woke one morning with a pretty solid bleed. I'd miscarried five times already. I just felt like this 'placenta previa' diagnosis wasn't going to turn out well. "So it looks like you've got a tiny little bleed behind the placenta. It's not blood from the baby, it's blood from the placenta, which is expected with a grade-four-previa." The doctor explained that I'd be spending a lot of time in the hospital, "you're already high-risk because of your history, Placenta Previa is the icing on the cake for you.. you'll become very familiar with the staff here".
I made it through Christmas and New Years without a hospital admission, but January was a hard month for us. Amongst the normal life stressors, and Havanah starting primary school, my husband's family lost an amazing woman. During the wake, I started to get a few pains. Nothing I wasn't used to. The next few days would end up being pretty full on. Lots of pain and, finally, some bleeding. It was Brooklyn's third birthday. We were having dinner when I had some crazy-ass tightening across my belly and then felt something come gushing out. We went straight to the hospital. As I lay there on my back, tears soaking through my hair, the doctor explained that she could see some blood pooling, but couldn't say where it was coming from. "We're going to have to admit you to keep a close eye on you. If it's your placenta, there could be a large bleed and, if that happens, you need to be in the hospital."
I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was 23 weeks and 6 days.
I was put in a room on the ward when a midwife came to see me.
"Has anyone spoken to you about placenta previa and why we're so worried?" she asked. "Kind of", I said, not really up for a chat.
"If you continue to bleed, our only option would be to deliver your baby to try and save your life. At 23 weeks, we won't send you to Sydney." "So when would you send me to Sydney?" I asked, knowing that "Sydney" was 'code' for "save your baby".
"24 weeks", she says to me, "so you need to rest for the next few hours so we can get you on that plane!"
Everything settled down and I got to go home after a couple of days. Fast forward to 27 weeks.
It was Sunday the 5th of March and I was having a lot of tummy pains and tightenings. Having been diagnosed with an 'irritable uterus' in my previous pregnancy, I put it down to 'one of those things' and tried to ignore it. After dinner, the pain began to get worse. John decided we needed to go to the hospital - so off we went.. again. The pain got increasingly worse as the minutes went by. All of a sudden, I was in a birthing room, sucking in that gas like there was no tomorrow. "We're sending you to Sydney". I was terrified.
I'd never been to Sydney before. I'd never been in a small plane before. I'd never been away from my husband and kids before.
The pain settled with a dose of Endone.
The entire trip from Dubbo Base Hospital to Nepean Hospital in Penrith was uneventful.
Fifteen minutes after arriving at Nepean, I felt like I'd wet myself. Slightly embarrassed, I lifted the blanket that covered my legs - there was blood EVERYWHERE! It had soaked through the pants I was wearing and was quickly covering the bed. I pressed my buzzer to get some help before realising that I didn't have the energy to sit up anymore. It happened so fast. I'd been warned over and over again, by doctors, nurses and midwives, that when it happened, I'd need medical treatment FAST. I just didn't realise how fast. There was no pain. No warning signs. It literally felt like, one moment I was dry, the next moment I was soaking wet. There was so much blood that my socks were wet through as well. It bought me a week in the birthing unit, two blood transfusions and an iron infusion.
I was 'nil by mouth' for almost a week. Every day was a question of whether they needed to take me into theatre, so I was constantly prepared for the mad dash to get Carter out. The afternoon that they'd decided I was finally stable enough to be moved to the ward, my midwife came to break the exciting news to me.. with a toasted cheese sandwich.
I still had crazy low blood pressure and was struggling to keep myself upright, so the decision was made for me to have another blood transfusion.
Thankfully, I made it through the next two weeks without any issues. I was on the ward the entire two weeks, just hoping we could get through another day. Eventually, my luck would run out. On the 26th of March, after twenty long days of being in the hospital, I began to have pains again. I was given some endone and tried to sleep it off. I still hadn't had any bleeding, but I felt like I had. I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was sleep.
The following day, I woke feeling pretty average and still experiencing quite a bit of pain. I was taken for an ultrasound and everything looked fine. Carter looked fine, the placenta looked fine.. no signs of bleeding. They couldn't find what could be causing all this pain.
I was taken back to my bed and given some more endone.
After a few hours, I woke in pain. Knowing that, with an irritable uterus, having a full bladder could actually cause uterine contractions, I made my way to the bathroom. I began to feel myself falling and grabbed onto the call button on the wall. The next little bit was a blur. I remember laying in my bed, lots of pain, heat pack on my side and a drip in my arm. There were a couple of doctors and midwives around my bed and they'd begun doing a bedside ultrasound. That was it. There was no bleeding. But the doctor made the decision to do an emergency cesarean. A decision that my family and I will forever be grateful for.
You see, even after two ultrasounds, they couldn't see what was going on. My placenta had begun to separate from the wall of my uterus and I was bleeding behind it, causing a shit load of pain. Had the decision not been made to get Carter out, we could have lost him.. had I continued to bleed.. I could have lost my own life. My odds were pretty good - I was already in an amazing hospital.. but had I been sent home.. had I been told "the ultrasound looks fine".. I might not have been so lucky.
On the 27th of March 2017, at just 30 weeks gestation, Carter was born. Weighing only 1.3kg and unable to breathe on his own, we knew we'd have a long road ahead.
I wanted to share my experience in having Placenta Previa because, when I was scared out of my friken mind, and wanting to read about other people's experiences, I couldn't find anything. I hope that this gives one mum-to-be a little more to hold onto and a little less to be scared of.
